The thing about living in a no-time zone is how scary it feels when time slips by. Yesterday, I’d wondered if I had lost an entire week without realizing it.
Thank God for blogs! I haven’t lost a week, I met M & K this Tues not last Fri. Perhaps it’s coz my heart has been full of the ex-colleagues this week that I lost track: the ones I met, the ones I heard about, and the ones I have always been close to.
The ones I heard about were so much on my heart (esp since I do not keep in touch) that I had to text them. I realised how much it means to me, even for people who will never be my closest friends, to know that they are doing ok. My heart feels/wishes/prays with so much strength that it tires and 3 or 4 people is all I can hold at one time.
I think sometimes people need to be asked how they are doing. They need to feel that their honest to heart feelings/thoughts/voice (who they are) matters. For so much of the time they are giving and living up to someone else’s demands and expectations.
There are many things I cannot do in daily life, even the simplest things. And in a lot of ways, more than many others I know, I will never live up to anyone’s expectations. But I think, I can for that moment, be near… and maybe that’s what I need to keep doing…
I’ve been thinking and thinking about going back. If I were to take in all those “Come back lah”s, I would cry :(. Yet for all the good reasons out there, I can only think of one ridiculous one: I love the people.
But is that enough reason to go back and one that will help me overcome my phobias, for one last season?
Listening to Shane and Shane’s “Be Near” (lyrics). It was so apt, I had to change the post title.
A lot of things I learn about life, I learn from my relationship with God. How near He is to us always and our deep desire for Him to be, and to be near to Him.