Of Regret, Language and Culture

Up till a year ago, I would have thought that being friends with someone from a different race was no different than forming any other friendship.

A year later, I think that it isn’t easy to get into the inner-circle of a friend from another race. Some obstacles pre-exist in our living spaces and are hard to get past.

It never bothered me much until I made a friend of a different race whose person I really liked. Then I started to see things I didn’t see before, from a perspective I didn’t have access to before.

And I’ve started to ask questions like:

1. Why were our mother tongues (and cultural identities) not more strongly encouraged/taught in school.
2. Why were local languages not offered/promoted as a 3rd language.
3. Why was not more done to immerse and integrate the different races.

Knowing what I know now, during those precious school years, I would have taken greater pride in my mother tongue and culture, and been more interested in the languages and cultures of other SG races.

Not too late I guess. There is a Chinese saying that goes 活到老，学到老 (We never stop learning.)

*****

Fri, 12th Feb – I woke up this morning and realised that I’d forgotten one crucial matter: religion. That despite my idealism, there are very real barriers that exist.

Some things I’ve realised from my experiences in the past year are:

1. It is very hard to be good friends with someone of another race/religion while remaining in my own.
2. I can learn more and grow in sensitivity in the daily things/practices that I take forgranted.
3. There are times we will defend ‘our own’ (because we know where they are coming from) and esp. our elders (because it is a sign of respect).
4. There are times we (or ‘our own’, even our elders) are wrong and we can feel sad and apologise for the hurt caused.
5. Honesty hurts a lot at first but is the best policy.

And maybe…

Our hearts, minds and humour are not really that far apart, and we can be close in unexpected ways.

Thanks H, very much for being who you are, and for the access and your honesty that has given me greater insight.