Marriage has been given quite a bad name these days with one too many celebrity affairs. I am surprised that people are surprised. Surely this happens fairly commonly and everyone’s family has stories.
But maybe most people aren’t surprised, they may act surprised to appear decent. Some may be relieved they aren’t the only perpetrators; others, comforted that they aren’t the only victims; and of course, a few, honestly surprised.
The public nature of celebrity infidelities allows us to openly grieve the wretchedness of human imperfection and the deep pain of betrayal (inflicted on those we love and ourselves.)
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Yet if we were to look at how things are (or are heading): multi sex-partners before marriage (even if it’s one after another in a series of monogamous relationships), surely we have to question how one is expected/able to only have sex with one person after marriage. For where will he/she have learnt the discipline of controlling his/her desires? The earlier one starts experimenting (at an age where he/she is overrun by hormones), the greater difficulty he/she will have in developing control.
Surely we are able to see the road ahead if this trend continues? Perhaps it’s time to study strong marriages: how do/did they stay faithful and why?
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I wonder if given the right combination of factors, many of us are/will be capable of sexual infidelity. It’s not healthy to dwell in constant fear and suspicion (probably worse than betrayal itself) because it will rob of the most important thing in a relationship: intimacy. But if we are aware of our vulnerabilities and can talk about it, we may not be taken quite so by surprise..
In the end, even if we are able to understand and eventually forgive, there is no right reason for betrayal.