Why is it so hard for some to believe in goodness? Issit coz letting in goodness will make them too vulnerable? I physically react to negativity. I get angry. Very angry. I think, “the whole wide world doesn’t have time to give you a hard time all the time. Get off your whiny butt and for once love someone else, give to someone else regardless of how it benefits you coz if you don’t, you will never find a joy multiplied. You will never find the love you are searching for coz intimacy cannot penetrate an armour, it’s nature is freedom..” Yet it strikes me now that it’s not that such people don’t love (they do) but that they are not able to admit to/reveal love or be loved because their world will come crashing down if they do. And maybe I was like that in the past..!
Their great defenses guards the softest of hearts. If only they understood their great strength.. And that to love is to be loved.. Love’s nature is not restraint but passion.. Love lends itself to deep hurt because it believes not in perfection through works but wholeness through the thick and thin of relationship.. We will always fail one another and not just once.. Love is letting that happen for the better of both.. Love risks because it is after intimacy not perfection or admiration.. Intimacy is possible. We have to fail to understand grace. We need to receive grace in order to understand love. Without grace love is impossible. Failure is important. It is the starting point of intimacy.. I don’t want to be perfect if I cannot love or be loved, there is no meaning to this life without intimacy.. But because of grace, I want to and have a deep source through intimacy to walk towards perfection so I don’t keep failing the ones who love me.. who i love..